TO HELL WITH HOLIDAY STRESS

The Saner Way to Move Through the Season

I realize this may sound a little controversial—and perhaps not in the classic spirit of the season—but I’m taking a different approach this year, and I hope you’ll consider joining me: to hell with holiday stress.

Don’t get me wrong. I don’t mean the holidays themselves, or the beauty, or the rituals, or the meaning of them—I mean the unnecessary pressure we place on ourselves, the kind that somehow gets tangled into the traditions we hold so dear.

And I don’t mean skipping the holidays or forfeiting the parts you genuinely love. What I mean is loosening your grip—letting the season be more human, adopting just enough humor and “to hell with it” energy to carry you through the season—not only intact, but actually in the spirit of enjoying yourself. On your terms.

COS PLAY

Faking Fun

Every December, we step into the season with good intentions and genuine excitement, but far too quickly we slip into auto-pilot with so much on. The month shifts into high gear—the shopping, the planning, the travel, the hosting—and it all seems to begin earlier each year, creating what feels like a high-sprint marathon. No wonder we emerge in January feeling stretched, overtired, and, if we’re honest, a little let down.

To make matters worse, we inherit roles and expectations without ever checking in with ourselves. We show up beautifully for everyone else, making it to every party, sitting through every family dinner, navigating the physical rush and the emotional minefields that come with the season—all while quietly running ourselves into the ground.

Here’s the truth: most people aren’t gliding through the holidays with effortless joy. Nearly nine in ten say the season is stressful, and more than half report heightened anxiety or financial strain.

Yet we keep pretending the magic just happens, when in reality it happens only because someone—yes, usually a mom—is holding the entire production together at an exhausting pace, with a lot of emotional glue and hard work—the unspoken requirement to keep the family traditions alive.

If you’ve seen Michelle Pfeiffer’s holiday film Oh. What. Fun., you know exactly what I mean. She’s the overwhelmed, underappreciated mother who orchestrates perfect holidays while feeling completely invisible—until she takes off for her own adventure and her family finally realizes just how much she’s been holding up all along. Art imitates life.

THE NAUGHTY TRADITION

Not so Nice: Inherited Stress

The pressure we feel this time of year isn’t accidental. It’s inherited. We absorb it the same way we absorb family sayings, recipes, and routines—quietly, unquestioned, as though stress itself were a tradition worth keeping.

Somewhere along the way, feeling overwhelmed became a badge of honor. Exhaustion became proof of dedication and devotion. We recreate the holidays we grew up with, rarely pausing to ask whether any of it still fits who we are now.

I say this with full awareness that coming from me, it’s rich—because as I mentioned in last week’s Substack, I’ve never met a tradition I didn’t like. I’m all in when it comes to Christmas and the holidays. And honestly, it doesn’t matter who celebrates what in my house—good will is abundant. I’m determined to create the warmest, most enjoyable seasonal celebration possible for everyone who walks through my door.

I wear that badge proudly—though admittedly, some years to the point of exhaustion, which isn’t ideal. It’s probably why I cherish the quiet week between Christmas and New Year’s so much—it’s when I reflect on the year behind me, exhale, and finally rest and recharge while planning the one ahead.

The point is: we carry the weight of expectation like another ornament on an already crowded tree simply because that’s the way it’s always been done. But legacy isn’t a mandate. And while year on year I pledge allegiance to tradition, even I can admit they’re not contracts—and I’m genuinely trying to relax a bit. I’ll report back next year on how this experiment of mine goes.

Bottom line: we get to choose what we carry forward.

This is why the holidays feel both beautiful and a little fragile sometimes. We’re trying to honor what’s meaningful while living lives that move at a pace our mothers and grandmothers could never have imagined. And because we’re human, we assume the strain is ours alone—that everyone else has somehow unlocked the secret to navigating December gracefully.

The good news? You’re not alone. They haven’t. And we certainly haven’t. Everyone is simply carrying their own version of the invisible load. So the real question is: how do we reframe this without compromising what we love?

NEW SEASON OF STRESS-LESS

Life-Architecture’s Habit Hacks For Holiday Stress

So how do we take back December without losing the beauty of it?

Here’s where Life Architecture becomes deeply practical: you can’t build a steady season on an unsteady self. Your foundation is always you—your bandwidth, your rest, your emotional margins. Protecting those isn’t indulgent; it’s structural.

There is nothing wrong with saying no, leaving early, or stepping back when something stretches you beyond your capacity or what’s reasonable. Boundaries don’t have to come with a hard “B”—sometimes they’re simply a softer, quieter one that keeps the “house of you” upright.

Then there’s the scaffolding we tend to overlook: the small, unglamorous habits that quietly stabilize an entire month. A simple 10–15 minute walk lowers stress and resets your mood. Seven to nine hours of sleep strengthens your immune system and your emotional resilience. Eating healthier meals between parties keeps your blood sugar—and your energy—from swinging wildly.

These aren’t luxuries; they’re the supports that keep you standing when everything else is moving quickly. Because, at the end of the day, you are the most important structure.

And above all, let grace be the atmosphere you live in—not the soft, abstract kind, but a simple acknowledgment that doing your best is enough–and yes, to hell with the rest. Grace isn’t woo-woo; it’s the space and permission that keep you from collapsing under the weight of your own expectations.

FULL TANK

My New December Attitude and Approach

If there’s anything this season has taught me, it’s that joy doesn’t come from depletion. When I take care of myself—not perfectly, just consistently—the holidays stop feeling like something I have to keep up with and start feeling like something I can actually experience and enjoy.

I love rituals, but this year I’m dedicated to making them feel lighter and more fun, even if they’re not perfect. When I do that, the pace becomes achievable, even comfortable, and I don’t feel like I have to be superhuman. The whole month shifts from performance to presence.

I actually experimented with this at Thanksgiving, and it worked. I mean truly worked. I let the stress go, slowed the expectations down, and enjoyed my favorite part—the preparation and cooking—so much more. I was present and relaxed for all of it. I think it might have been a first, but adopting a lighter mentality going in was a game changer.

So this Christmas, I’m continuing on that same theme—and I hope you will too: do what you can, be kind to yourself, and yes, to hell with the rest. Just do your best.

Trust me, a holiday lived on a full tank feels entirely different. It feels steady, grounded, and finally… yours. (And mine too).