THE MOST MEMORABLE GIFTS

Welcome, December—the season of giving. And ahem, gifting.

Giving and receiving gifts is already in full swing—Hanukkah is this week, Christmas is next—but take heart: there’s still plenty of time to get your gift game on. You’ve just got to be crystal clear about the aim and know this: a gift doesn’t have to be extravagant to be extraordinary.

When you give or receive something truly thoughtful, the brain knows it immediately. Its reward system lights up—serotonin, dopamine, oxytocin—all the good stuff gets involved. This is the kind of gift-giving you want to aim for.

Thoughtful gifts create a deeper emotional response and a stronger sense of being seen. It’s a kind of glow-up the brain remembers. That’s the thing about memorable gifts: they don’t register as objects at first. They register as recognition.

When someone gives us something considered—something from the heart—we read it as an authentic gesture. That’s the recognition. It makes us feel seen, understood, even loved.

We tend to talk about gifting in terms of pressure—what to buy, how much to spend, whether it’s enough. But biologically and emotionally, that’s not how it works. The brain doesn’t remember (or frankly, even know) price. It remembers meaning. It remembers attention. It remembers the feeling of being valued.

And that’s why the gifts that stay with us—the ones we never forget—aren’t always the most expensive ones.

THE BEST GIFT I EVER GOT

From a Girl Who’s Hard to Buy For

The most incredible gift I ever received was a deeply personal, custom book—paired with a video—about my life up until that point. It was hardbound, a composite really, of me as a young mother and the boys’ early years, filled with special moments: personal milestones, my guys’ big occasions, holidays, and our travels.

It captured all the moments that mattered. Set to Coldplay, it somehow felt even more like a time capsule—preserving a very specific time in my life. The gift wasn’t flashy. It wasn’t over-the-top. But it was a complete surprise. And because it was so thoughtful, it was priceless.

What made it unforgettable wasn’t the object or even the effort alone—it was that someone had taken the time to gather those moments, carefully re-create my story, and then gift it back to me.

That’s the quiet power of a truly memorable gift: it reflects us—or resonates—on a deeply personal level.

THE OBSERVER

The Attention Factor

The other best gifts I’ve received over the years—and I’d venture to say, you too—follow the same pattern: observation. These are gifts born from the simple art of noticing. They might be objects, gestures, or something someone has observed about me—or about you.

For me, they were often connected to what I already collected or loved. Sometimes, it was noticing what I didn’t have yet, but might enjoy. One favorite memory comes from my years at Mrs. John L. Strong. Every afternoon, without fail, I’d step out—or place an order—for a Starbucks coffee to the office.

One Christmas, Gary, my CFO at the time—who sat just behind the door pictured—gifted me a whopping $200 Starbucks gift card.

While it was an incredibly generous gift—decadent, even ($200 twenty years ago was a lot!)—what stayed with me wasn’t just the amount. It was the pleasure and amusement that card brought me. The many coffees and teas it represented mattered more than the number itself. I thought of Gary every single time I used it, often bringing a coffee back for him too. To this day, I still tell him how much that gift meant to me.

I’m not generally a fan of gift cards, but sometimes they can be exactly right. This one carried all the right meaning and intention. It was rooted in observation—my daily ritual which made it far more than thoughtful. I still smile when I think about it. Gary had simply noticed.

And that’s the point: giving gifts well is about relating. The best ones come from active listening, memory, and paying attention over time—observing what someone says, does, or returns to again and again. They often reflect discovery or shared experience. It’s an active practice: staying engaged when nothing obvious is happening, noticing what brings someone comfort or joy.

That’s why thoughtful gifts feel special. Personal. Sometimes even a little private. They reference an inside joke, an intimate moment, a shared memory, a particular phase of life. They reflect who someone is—not just what they want.

WORLD CLASS GIFTER

Designers KNOW

I’ll admit it: being a designer has helped my gifting game. I’m pretty sure I have a leg up, thanks to the pro skills I’ve acquired over the years—and that’s before factoring in my love of the holidays. I like to say I’ll celebrate just about anything on the Hallmark calendar.

It all circles back to attentiveness. Observation. These are my real superpowers—the skills I’ve sharpened over time. I’ve always been someone who observes people, places, and things: how people live, what they wear, what they use, and what they surround themselves with. It’s made me very good at noticing everything.

As a designer, I build worlds. I create environments—deeply personal spaces that must reflect the preferences and proclivities of my clients. That requires study, observation, and a keen eye for detail. Once a program list is understood, all of that information is fed back into a process that yields something uniquely personal.

If you think about it, this process isn’t so different from gifting. You take in data points (observations) and then give back something you know to be authentic and true with the goal of making someone very happy. When it resonates, you feel it. And you know you’ve succeeded in producing a beautiful result, something like a very special gift.

I try to approach gifting the same way. And I’ll admit—I’m lucky. I can often see beyond what people say they want, or even think they need. Yes, a bit like you-know-who—but nicer (if you know, you know). I see things before others do.

Understanding what people want—and why—fascinates me. The fact that I genuinely enjoy it is probably what makes me a strong gift-giver. I get a real kick out of it. Yes, it’s the thought that counts—but when done well, that thought is beautifully wrapped inside the bag and the box.

This search for meaning—the desire to relate, to express thoughtfulness through gifts, material, actionable or even ethereal, is what truly resonates with me. Gifting has never felt like a chore. It’s about contributing to our own, and each other’s, lives and iconography. And once you understand that, it’s not a big leap to see how this thinking led me to create Life Architecture.

GASTRONOMIQUE GIFTS

Fancy For Homemade

Some of the my favorite gifts I give each year are also the simplest. Edible. Handmade. And they disappear almost as soon as they’re gifted, and that’s entirely by design.

I love to gift homemade things—boxes of cookies, granola, seed crackers–often a rotation of classics I make, or sometimes whatever I’m into that particular year. All are made for neighbors and friends.

These aren’t extravagant gifts, but they’re they’re beautifully presented and straight from the heart. And, most importantly they’re rooted in tradition

These gifts mark the season and quietly let my friends and neighbors know that I’m thinking of them. Over the years, they’ve all come to expect these sweets, and I love that they do. They’ve created a rhythm of expectation—for themselves and me too—a sense of continuity, year after year.

Edible gifts are powerful in their own quiet way. They don’t require excess, but they make a very personal statement. After all, who really bakes anymore? That’s a gift in and of itself.

Homemade things are meant to bring a smile, be enjoyed and then be gone. There’s something deeply human about that. Something generous, without expectation.

And perhaps most importantly, they feel like they could only have been given by you—to them. That specificity is what creates emotional memory. That’s the real sweet spot.

WHEN ALL IS SAID AND DONE

Do You Buy It?

So I’ll leave you with a few stats—because what would an article about Life Architecture be without insights? Compelling, yes. But the real question is: do you buy them?

If you do, then you already know this to be true: the most memorable gifts are rarely perfect. They’re personal. They don’t just mark an occasion—they preserve a moment, a season, a version of us at a very specific point in time.

The best gifts are also emblematic. They capture something intangible and make it tangible—something to remember us by, or remember us for. Even if only briefly. And longer, if we’re lucky.

So skip the pressure. Whatever you’re gifting, focus on presence over price. Thoughtfulness over scale. Creativity over cost.

And on that note, as we move through this season of giving and gifting, we’ll be sharing a special-edition Substack with my holiday recipes and favorite selections from our holiday gift guide series—small, meaningful ideas and larger gestures alike, all meant to be enjoyed, shared, and remembered.